That Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we consider the television offerings of the past year, a handful of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with woeful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final season began, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the last season. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, fans certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the least of this show's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the problems. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and materialism? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Acting so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. Except, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just really dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint lifestyle as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are forced to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for sexual escapades as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was way more examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.