How to Speak Dating Like a Generation Z: Fifty-One Ultra-Specific Words for Love, Intimacy and Bad Behaviour

This period marks a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” hit the common lexicon. At the time, the notion that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an oftentimes fruitless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Gen Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial elders could ever fathom. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive guide to the terms this generation is using to discuss love, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, romance's ideal is showing up as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend connected to a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means going for someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes partners who forgo parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Personal quirks suggesting a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners crazy, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions affirm your choice to pursue a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, mostly inoffensive quirks. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and often mundane turnoffs that instantly shut down any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {