About ‘Negative Influences’ - Here’s Why Downbeat Pals Might Help You Personally

Myself crave wisdom from others about handling middle-aged struggles, such as deep inner questions, waning significance, developing a neck resembling a melted timepiece along with a recent enthusiasm regarding sunny relocation programs. Lately, I discovered his remarks regarding his fiftieth birthday in an interview: “To thrive in life’s later stages, you must cut out distractions,” he explained. “Just be with lovely people. I’m avoiding negative people – ‘mood hoovers’ – and getting better at saying no.”

Initially, I wondered: isn’t there a tension regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Doesn’t that mean he has to avoid himself? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. However, among our group, we favor the term “energy drainer”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). In a bind, I might tolerate “melancholy luxury blanket”.

It’s possible you’re also a member. Do you tend to be the event’s realist rather than its cheerleader? Does your detailed response to “How are you?” have your interlocutor edging away uncomfortably? Do you greet “fun” activity suggestions with an expression that makes you look like you’ve swallowed a slug? Can you relate deeply to pessimistic characters; has an intuitive ever described your energy as dull?

If so, you’re one of us, but it’s OK. Although modern wisdom pushes folks to discard “sapping” companions, I contend we bring substantial worth. It’s likely an energy vampire would have expressed doubts – or shown a grimace – upon hearing about the planned book with a First Nations lead done without input, possibly avoiding much trouble, distress, and disrespect. You don’t get that sort of service from “lovely people”.